The Problem with Modern Entertainment

A guide for parents

Have you ever noticed how audiences these days laugh the most when the actors make cutting remarks and try to embarrass or hurt each other? That's supposed to be funny. Well, to me it's offensive! When I was young, audiences would be stunned and offended at that sort of thing. Now they just roar with laughter.

You can hardly find a movie or TV show about a family with children where the kids aren't fussing and fighting like mad. The parents do it too. Husbands and wives are constantly arguing and putting each other down in front of their children—and in front of your children. Because this has become the norm among families in the media, the children watching naturally assume that it's normal and acceptable for families to behave that way.

Sad to say, it probably is typical of the average U.S. home, since that's where most of those shows originate and that's who the producers are appealing to. It's normal in that sense, but it certainly shouldn't be considered acceptable. It's unloving, hurtful, and wrong—and it's contagious! It's also rapidly becoming a picture of home life almost anywhere, largely due to the influence those shows have as they spread around the world. Isn't that horrible?

Just because a movie or TV show is rated for children doesn't necessarily mean that it's good for your children.

Children imitate what they see and hear, and they seem to have a penchant for copying the negative. Young children, especially, can't always tell the difference between good or bad, and it's even harder when those guilty of some of the worst behavior are made to look so enviable, so "good," in other ways—good looking, affluent, popular, smarter than the adults, and free to do as they please.

Children are in the process of forming the values that they will carry with them through life, and it's their parents' responsibility to guide that process. Parents are failing at that job if they let their children watch what they want without any parental guidance or explanation as to what is acceptable civil behavior and what isn't. And that goes for shows that are supposedly geared to children, even the ones that are meant to be educational.

Just because a movie or TV show is rated for children doesn't necessarily mean that it's good for your children. Parents need to take personal responsibility for that decision. They also have a responsibility to steer their children away from the negative, either by not exposing their children to it in the first place, or by explaining why it's bad and not to be imitated.

What a mess the entertainment world is in! It could be such a good tool for teaching about life, as it once was, but instead it's getting worse by the year!

Today's mainstream media rarely mentions God except in profanity, the occult is intriguing and "cool," and religious people are usually portrayed as kooks. When I was growing up, many movies had positive, reverent references to God and prayer, and often even the most wayward characters would wind up learning their lesson and reforming. Movies back then usually had happy endings, with morals and lessons being taught.

Not now! Sometimes you can hardly tell the difference between the good guys and the bad guys. What I really hate are those stories where the evil wins out in the end.

In Greek drama, European opera, and Shakespearean plays there were lots of tragedies, but there was always a lesson to be learned. The Greeks believed that the emotions tragedy released, sadness and grief, were good because they had a purgative, purifying effect. Shakespeare's tragedies were insightful and meaningful. Every Aesop's Fable had a moral at the end.

But most of today's music, movies, television, videos, and other entertainment have nothing sensible to teach, no lesson to be learned. They leave you with a feeling of hopelessness. "Everything's a mess! The world's a terrible place! God must be a monster to have created such a thing!" They blame it all on God. Even if they don't mention God, that's what they mean. "Why me? This is unfair! Why does this have to happen to me?"

Cartoons have always had their share of violence—cartoon characters hitting each other and blowing each other up and that sort of thing—but some of the latest cartoons are even worse because they introduce children to the occult and other evil supernatural stuff. I love the supernatural—the good side—but many of today's cartoons portray and promote the other side, a full array of Satan's goods! It's like stepping back into the Dark Ages. It's terrible!

It's the same with much of today's music and music videos. You can hardly ever understand the lyrics—at least most adults can't without really making an effort. But if you make that effort, or if you read the lyrics [most can be found online], in many cases you'll be shocked and appalled at the perversions and warped values that songwriters and bands are preaching to young people through their music.

If you're a parent, you need to take a long, hard look at what's out there and decide if that's how you want your children to turn out, because what they watch and listen to and imitate today, they will become tomorrow.

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Proactive parenting
How to get the most from TV

• Don't let your children watch unmonitored TV.
• Preview or read reviews on a movie or TV show before showing it to your children. Be selective.
• Strive to make watching TV shows, documentaries, or movies both fun and a learning experience by watching and discussing them together. It will help your children develop the right perspectives.
• Talk with your children about what they do with their friends for entertainment, not in a way that suggests you don't trust them, but to help them build and be true to their values.
• Balance TV with fun activities other than TV viewing, such as playing games together, sports, outings, etc.

Changing Me to Change Them

"We must be the change we wish to see in this world."--Mahatma Gandhi, Indian nationalist and spiritual leader who developed the practice of nonviolent disobedience that forced Great Britain to grant independence to India in 1947.

I can think of all kinds of ways to change our kids, my associates, my wife Heather, and lots of other people in my life. But that's not the place to start. The place to start is with changing me. The Nobel Prize winning physicist, Albert Einstein, observed that we can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it. The same principle applies to influencing and leading people around us. I can't influence others to change what they're doing with the same behavior that contributed to their current behavior.

The longer I've been with others who I'd like to improve or change, the more this applies to me. Something I've been doing, or failing to do, has contributed to their current behavior patterns. If I am going to shift their behavior to a new level, I will need to change my behavior. To change them, I need to change me. As the 18th century French writer, Francois Fenelon, put it, "We can often do more for others by correcting our own faults than by trying to correct theirs."

This key leadership principle is useless if we think that we can control others. It's especially easy to believe this if I am the boss, parent, owner, teacher, coach, project leader, director, or in some similar position of authority. I will always be stuck at the superficial level of "doing my leadership thing" as long as I try controlling others through position power. I am ready to move to the deeper levels of leadership (and greater effectiveness) when I give up trying to control. I can then shift my focus to influencing and guiding others by what I do, as well as by what I say.

To create something we must be something. For example, becoming a parent is easy; being one is tough. We can't teach our kids self-discipline unless we are self-disciplined. We can't help build strong organizational teams unless we're a strong team player. We can't help develop a close community if we're not a good neighbor. We can't enjoy a happy marriage if we're not a loving partner. We won't have a supportive network of friends or colleagues until we're a supportive friend or collaborative colleague.

In The Heart Aroused: Poetry and Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America, David Whyte writes, "All things change when we do."

In our leadership development work we use a simple exercise to help participants connect the changes they'd like to see, to the changes they need to make in their own behavior. Draw a line down the middle of a page. Title the left column "Changes I'd Like Them to Make." List the four or five biggest changes you'd like to see in others.

OK, that's the easy part. Now title the right column "Ways I Can Exemplify These Changes." Brainstorm ways you can influence "them" with your personal behavior. This is the hard part. It means I must face up to what I have or haven't been doing to influence their behavior.

It's much easier to be a victim--to blame all their behavior on them and refuse to accept any responsibility at all. But how honest and true is that--really? I may need more feedback from them to clearly see my role in their behavior. I likely need to reflect further and deeper on our relationship. The big (and often painful) leadership question is; what do I need to change about me to help change them? Instead of just wishing for a change of circumstance, I may need a change of character.

"We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done."--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, American writer and poet.

Most of us put leading by example high on the list of key leadership characteristics. We use phrases like "walking the talk" or "connecting the video with the audio" to express this core leadership concept. That's authenticity.

We recognize real leadership when we see it in others. What we often don't recognize is our own behavior reflected back to us. For example, children act like their parents despite all attempts to get them to love learning. Teams act like their leaders, despite attempts to train them otherwise. Customers yawn about the indifference of our service despite all the catchy slogans and advertising. Family members feel unappreciated despite (unexpressed) feelings about how much they mean to us. Conflict creates tension and misunderstanding despite realizations that issues should be confronted more effectively.

Good intentions are useless if they stop there. Unless we act on them, they're nothing more than warm, fuzzy thoughts in our own heads. When it comes to leadership, the messenger must be the message. That well-known biblical story of the Good Samaritan would have no meaning if all he did was look with sympathy at the badly wounded traveler lying by the road. He acted on his compassion and made a difference. One of the biggest differences between most people and authentic leaders is action. Real leaders make it happen.

10 Things Science Says Will Make You Happy

In the last few years, psychologists and researchers have been digging up hard data on a question previously left to philosophers: What makes us happy? Here are 10 scientifically proven strategies for happiness.

1. Savor Everyday Moments. Pause now and then to smell a rose or watch children at play. Study participants who took time to “savor” ordinary events that they normally hurried through, or to think back on pleasant moments from their day, “showed significant increases in happiness and reductions in depression,” says psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky.

2. Avoid Comparisons. Comparing ourselves with others can be damaging to happiness and self-esteem. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, focusing on our own personal achievement leads to greater satisfaction, according to Lyubomirsky.

3. Put Money Low on the List. People who put money high on their priority list are more at risk for depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, according to researchers Tim Kasser and Richard Ryan. “The more we seek satisfactions in material goods, the less we find them there,” Ryan says. “The satisfaction has a short half-life—it’s very fleeting.”

4. Have Meaningful Goals. “People who strive for something significant, whether it’s learning a new craft or raising moral children, are far happier than those who don’t have strong dreams or aspirations,” say Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener. “As humans, we actually require a sense of meaning to thrive.”

5. Take Initiative at Work. How happy you are at work depends in part on how much initiative you take. Researcher Amy Wrzesniewski says that when we express creativity, help others, suggest improvements, or do additional tasks on the job, we make our work more rewarding and feel more in control.

6. Make Friends, Treasure Family. Happier people tend to have good families, friends, and supportive relationships, say Diener and Biswas-Diener. But it’s not enough to be the life of the party if you’re surrounded by shallow acquaintances. “We don’t just need relationships, we need close ones” that involve understanding and caring.

7. Smile Even When You Don’t Feel Like It. It sounds simple, but it works. “Happy people … see possibilities, opportunities, and success. When they think of the future, they are optimistic, and when they review the past, they tend to savor the high points,” say Diener and Biswas-Diener. Even if you weren’t born optimistic, with practice, a positive outlook can become a habit.

8. Say Thank You Like You Mean It. People who keep gratitude journals on a weekly basis are healthier, more optimistic, and more likely to make progress toward achieving personal goals, according to author Robert Emmons. Research by Martin Seligman revealed that people who write “gratitude letters” to someone who made a difference in their lives score higher on happiness, and lower on depression—and the effect lasts for weeks.

9. Get Out and Exercise. A Duke University study shows that exercise may be just as effective as drugs in treating depression, without all the side effects and expense. Other research shows that in addition to health benefits, regular exercise offers a sense of accomplishment and opportunity for social interaction, releases feel-good endorphins, and boosts self-esteem.

10. Give It Away. Make altruism and giving part of your life, and be purposeful about it. Researcher Stephen Post says helping a neighbor, volunteering, or donating goods and services results in a “helper’s high,” and you get health benefits as well. Listening to a friend, passing on your skills, celebrating others’ successes, and forgiveness also contribute to happiness, he says. Researcher Elizabeth Dunn found that those who spend money on others reported much greater happiness than those who spend it on themselves.

Live Your Dream

I am happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ's power can live in me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Robert D. Ballard is a man accustomed to looking for things other people have "lost." To date he has led or participated in nearly one hundred deep-sea expeditions. Among the "lost" things he has found are the R.M.S. Titanic, the German battleship Bismarck, and eleven warship that were part of a fleet lost at Guadalcanal.

Did Ballard find these ships on his first try? No. As he once said in a commencement address, "My first voyage to find the Titanic ended in failure. "My first expedition to find Bismarck failed as well. The test you must pass is not whether you fall down or not, but whether you can get back up."

Ballard also noted, "Every major adventure I have been on over the years has tested me severely with violent storms and lost equipment.... The hardest test of all... look to see how determined you are to live your dream, how strong is your heart."

If you truly believe that God has called you to teach, never let go of your dream. Always walk toward the next horizon. Consider failure only as an opportunity to regroup and strengthen yourself.

The Desire to Change

No choice will determine the success of your attitude change more than desiring to change. When all else fails, desire alone can keep you heading in the right direction. The geratest motivation fo all is when we realize we can change.

Life is changing process. With all of its transitions come new opportunities for growth. What is a limiting factor yesterday may not be one today. Accept the following statement for your life: " The days ahead are filled with changes which are my challenges. I will response to these opportunities with the confidence that my life will be better because of them. With God all things are possible."

No one but you can determine what you will think and how you will act. That is good! Now, take control and begin the exciting journey of attitude improvement.

IT'S UP TO YOU

         If you think you're a winner you'll win,
        If you dare to step out you'll succeed.
        Believe in your heart, have a purpose to start.
        Aim to help fellow man in need.

        Thoughts of faith must replace every doubt
        Use words of courage and you cannot fail.
        If you stumble and fall, rise and stand ren feet tall,
        You determine the course that you sail.

        You've been given the power to see
        What it takes to be a real man.
        Let your thinking be pure, it will make you secure.
        If you want to, you know that you can.
    
       
        

No more Mr. Nice Guy

Where did the idea originate that Christianity is all about being “nice”? It is an irrational progression from Jesus, whose very arrival on Earth threatened to overturn everything: the Roman Empire, the Jewish religious powers, and most significantly, the lives of every human on earth.

Essayist Annie Dillard noted the dissonance between “American Christianity” and that of its Founder, describing contemporary Christians as “cheerful, brainless tourists on a packaged tour of the Absolute.” She said. “Does anybody have the foggiest idea what sort of power we so blithely invoke? Or, as I suspect, does no one believe a word of it?”

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is not just about comforting the afflicted; it is also about afflicting the comfortable. Being Christian is not just about being nice.

(Commentary:) Jesus was a revolutionary, who didn’t come to bring “niceness” and peace (Matthew 10:34–36), but rebirth and revolution—and He made available the full power of God so that His disciples could do the same!

“Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.” [Matthew 10:34-36]

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

" Commit your work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3

Psychologist John Gray, who's been a marriage counselor and lecturer for the past 20 years, has summed up his findings about human relationships in a wildly popular bestseller. His book has been translated into 29 languages. Mr. Gray says that men and women in contemporary society, where most women work outside the home, face greater emotional stresses than ever before. He says women no longer spend as much time in the company of other nurturing women and men have less time to relax with other males. So, the two sexes expect more from each other. John Gray says that because men and women have very different needs, they have enormous difficulty first in understanding and then in meeting one another's needs:
"When a woman's talking about problems, what a man will do is to think that she needs solutions because, when a man's upset and he's talking about what's bothering him, he's generally looking for a solution. So, when a woman is sharing and talking about her feelings, a man mistakenly assumes that she's like him, and he starts offering her solutions. Generally solutions are not what she's looking for. And she ends up feeling like he doesn't care, he doesn't want to listen to her, her feelings aren't important to him.

"So, a woman will tend to feel like her husband is really ignoring her when he's under stress, whereas a man will feel like his partner is a bottomless pit of problems when she's under stress. He doesn't understand that she doesn't need all those problems solved in order to feel better. She just needs to talk about them and have someone listen and empathetically understand. Another woman will intuitively do this for a woman. And a man doesn't instinctively understand that, because talking about all his problems will many times just overwhelm him and cause him to feel worse."
"Women will tend to use many parts of the brain at a time, whereas a man will tend to use one part of the brain at a time. And again, that's that tendency that men have to focus. And the greater stress a man is under, the more focused he becomes. To cope with stress, a woman needs loving, nurturing relationships where she can share freely with people who care about her, whereas for a man to cope most effectively with stress, he needs to have free-time activity to do things he enjoys doing, and he needs a nurturing relationship. And this is a difference between men and women. Whereas the man will tend to extend himself, reach out to his partner, open up to his partner once he's recovered from stress, a woman goes to the relationship in order to recover from stress."

So when we start understanding how completely different we are, then we can make very small adjustments in our approach, and we see dramatic benefits. … Instead of assuming, ‘well, we can't get our needs met,’ we learn new skills. We learn how to get our needs met by studying what those differences are.

TOP TEN FAILURES OF ALL TIME

" We never give up. Our bodies are gradually dying, but we ourselves are being made stronger each day."

- 2 Corinthians 4:16

1. The engineer who neglected to design a reverse gear in the first car he manufactured. ( Henry Ford)
2. The group turned down by by Decca Records because "guitrs are on their way out." ( The Beatles)
3. The illustrator told by his newspaper editor to pursue another line of work. ( Walt Disney)
4. The skinny kid who hated the way he looked and was always being beat up by bullies. (Charles Atlas)
5. The seriously ill, deeply in debt composer who in desperation wrote an oratorio in a few hours. ( George Frederick)
6. The obese, bald, deformed eccentric who became a reclusive thinker. ( Socrates)
7. The orchestra conductor-composer who made his greatest contribution after becoming deaf.
( Ludwig von Beethoven)
8. The politician who lost his first seven elections. ( Abraham Lincoln)
9. The boy everyone thought was mute because his stutter was so bad he never spoke until he was teenager. ( James Earl Jones)
10. The woman born deaf and blind who became a great writer and philanthropist, and once said, " I thank God for my handicaps." ( Helen Keller)

The Difference Between Men and Women : Cell pone and Computer

“Cast all your anxiety on [God], because He cares for you”

1Peter 5:7

This interesting article contains important information! I consider the lack of understanding of natural God-created differences between men and women to be one of the major reasons for marriage problems or failures.

You can’t have a very happy marriage unless you understand and accept that God made men and women different, and that this is a good thing. We shouldn’t try to get rid of the God-given differences between men and women, but instead learn to understand them, accept them, and even grow to truly appreciate them.

(By Rhonda Rhea, Marriage Partnership:) “I don’t know how we’re going to sort out tonight’s schedule,” I gushed, as my husband, Richie, came through the door. “You’re late—and Andrew has a game an hour away. One of us has to get him there by 7:00. Jordan has a game here. Kaley is cheering at Jordan’s game, but she also has a game right before his. And it’s the same time as Andrew’s away game. That’s also the time Allie and Daniel are supposed to have practice at ….”

I hadn’t even gotten to the dinner dilemma part of my list, when I knew by Richie’s wide-eyed, zombie stare that he’d shut down somewhere just after “You’re late.”

I’ve seen the look before.

How many other wives have seen their husbands processing information when suddenly their “screen saver” kicks on? My husband is able to process a lot of information. I know—I can dish it out in hefty chunks. There are times, however, when something seems to happen to his internal processor. Everything locks up and I feel as if I need to, well, reboot. It’s as if I’m living with a computer!

Funny thing is, Richie tells me he’s living with a cell phone.

The night he arrived home late, he’d had a long, problem-filled day at work. He’d been looking forward to coming home to his refuge where he could simply veg out and not have to think.

As he opened the front door, his peace bubble exploded into an outline of the evening’s agenda. I’d been poised at the door, ready for the attack. Every word about every game and every place the kids had to be came at him nonstop.

Richie told me later that my actions were akin to settling into a comfy seat at a movie theater only to have his cell phone blast.

I’m a “cell phone”? I thought. And I realized I can go off unexpectedly and sometimes at the most inopportune moments. I’m also faithful to keep “calling” until I’m answered. Oh no! I thought. I am a cell phone!

I don’t know about that whole Mars/Venus thing, but I think I can safely say men and women certainly operate on different hardware. We’re wired differently. To me, it seems as if men are computers and women are, well, cell phones. The computer’s communication is most often a one-way communiqué. Cell phones, on the other hand, require two-party participation. They’re all about communication.

Dr. James Dobson hits on the wiring problem in his book, Love for a Lifetime. He writes: “Research makes it clear that little girls are blessed with greater linguistic ability than little boys, and it remains a lifelong talent. Simply stated, she talks more than he does.” Dobson suggests that God may have given Mrs. Cell Phone 50,000 words per day while Mr. Computer may average 25,000. By the time he’s walking up the driveway to his relaxing safe place, he’s most likely used 98 percent of his daily word store—he’s practically in “sleep mode” already—that mode that’s used after the screen saver’s been on for a while. She, on the other hand, is ready to give him most of her 50,000—and she wants a similar number from him. But all she gets is a busy signal. How can we find common ground?

Cell phones and computers do have something in common. They both need a connection, just as husbands and wives need a connection. And isn’t it interesting that techno-smart people are finding more and more ways computers and cell phones can work together to make life better? I was stuck at an airport recently and occupied myself by watching the lady next to me check her e-mail and send out a message or two—all on her cell phone!

Powerful connection can result in a powerful, productive, and satisfying marriage. Try these six couple-tested ideas to find your own techno-compromise. You can get connected—even in a technically-challenged relationship.

1. Season your speech with grace. Sarah was at her wits’ end. She tried talking to her husband, Jeff, but found him clamming up during almost every conversation. After hearing a sermon about kindness and the art of listening, Sarah did a communication evaluation on herself. She discovered she was dominating most of their conversations. She also noticed she was spending a big percentage of their talks crabbing at Jeff.

The sermon that impacted Sarah’s speech included Colossians 4:6: “Let your conversation be always full of grace.” She realized that to promote healthy communication in her marriage, she needed to get rid of the static—any unkind, graceless speech. She’s working on incorporating more grace in her conversations and becoming a good listener as she works toward encouraging Jeff to share with her more openly.

2. Be open and honest. Angie’s communication struggle was different. She couldn’t figure out why her husband, Bill, didn’t clue in to her signals. She thought he should be sensitive enough to pick up on hints for attention. When he didn’t, her “silent treatment” response only complicated the communication glitches.

After Angie shared her disappointment with a mentor, she learned that computers can’t process information they haven’t been given. Instead of giving Bill the “well, if you really understood me, you’d automatically know I need you to listen now” speech, she’s working more on her ability to lovingly level with him.

3. Let your computer be a computer. Lynn spent the first three years of her marriage trying to remake her husband, Doug. Doug resented her motherly corrections and they argued at almost every encounter. When they decided to talk to a counselor, Lynn was sure he could whip Doug into shape. Was she surprised when the counselor hinted that she was a big part of the problem! The counselor encouraged her to let her husband be himself. She had essentially been trying to make a computer into a cell phone.

Lynn is learning instead to accept their differences, including what she once thought were Doug’s “weaknesses.” She’s finding that some of the characteristics she’d been harping on as his weaknesses are actually some of the same ones she considered his strengths when they were dating. Lynn turned over a new leaf in her marriage when she decided to enjoy Doug “as is.”

4. Make God your source of fulfillment. Sue had become a smotherer. If her husband, Mike, didn’t hang on her every word and dote on her when they were together, she interpreted his inattention as indifference. So she pouted their time away. And Mike was wearing out.

After yet another evening of pouting, Sue finally called her mom for advice. Sue’s mother said, “Husbands aren’t meant to supply every emotional need. Only God can do that.” Sue’s mom told her she was putting a heavier load on Mike than a mate can handle. It was just too much for his mainframe to manage. Sue’s mom reminded her that the Bible tells us to “Cast all your anxiety on [God], because He cares for you” (1Peter 5:7).

Sue has seen her marriage become stronger and less frustrating as she has deepened her prayer life and her Bible study time, and strengthened her dependence on God. And she’s finding great blessing in living in a virtually pout-free household!

5. Make room for friendships. Sue also discovered she’d neglected her need for friendships with other women. She was thrilled when she discovered she could unload several thousand words on her mom or another interested friend (and let her friend unload a significant percentage of her 50,000 word store too). Sue found it was great not only to get another woman’s take, but to give Mike a break. Since women have a greater need for conversation, Sue and her friends help each other out in the dialogue area—person to person and phone to phone.

6. Grow in Christ together. As Sarah and Jeff have worked on better techno-compromise, they’ve found that spending time praying and studying God’s Word together builds conversation that really counts. They find they’re both more ready to compromise and give to meet the needs of the other as they’re aiming at becoming more like Christ.

What a great target for each of us—computers and cell phones alike. As we continually ask God to impact our marriages, we can become better talkers and better listeners, hearing Him through His Word and prayer.

Trusting God

"Trust the Lord with all your heart never rely on what you think you know remember Him, in everything you do and He will show you the right way"

Proverbs 3:5

In order to trust in God, you must totally surrender your will, your ideas, your desires, and your future in to God's hands. Many of us are "control freaks." We don't want to give the control of any part of our lives over to another. If you don't believe that God loves you fully and really does have your best interests at heart and desires the very best for you, trusting Him is going to be extremely difficult. It takes a very special relationship to allow that measure of surrender. Most of us have a tendency to claim trust in God. However, at the first sign of any difficulty or trial, we think that God must not love us because He is allowing this difficulty to happen. The trial is exactly what God is using to test the level of trust that we have in Him.